The Knee, The Whole Knee and Nothing But the Knee (or Awe Crap, Larry, I hurt it again)

Many have inquired into The Common Man's health, and the specifics as to how he destroyed his knee. He figures that today offers a great opportunity to put to rest some of their concerns. First, the story.

The Common Man was skiing with his father and brother over the holiday vacation, in Flagstaff, Arizona. The Common Man, figuring that he had enough to pack for the trip, chose to leave his skis behind and rent them when he got to the slope. After waiting for two and a half hours to get rental skis, The Common Man and his father joined the aforementioned brother on the hill. On the third run of the day (during which, The Common Man was skiing impeccably, mind you), your hero hit an icy patch and began to slip down. The crappy binding on the crappy rental ski did not release, as it was supposed to, and when the back of The Common Man's ski caught in the snow, he felt a pop in his knee, fell, and skidded down the hill several yards. Upon getting up to get his pole, The Common Man felt his knee buckle (like Catherine O'Hara, in this clip from Best in Show), and he went down again. It was then The Common Man knew something was wrong. Since then, as he's discussed, The Common Man has discovered that there was significant damage to the knee. His ACL is completely torn, his LCL is partially torn, and he may have some cartilage damage. He will have to have reconstructive surgery at some point in the near future.

In honor of The Common Man's fallen knee, he presents the three biggest myths about ACL tears:

1) It hurts like hell. Every time a football player tears their ACL on television, he writhes around on the ground in agony. This has led to the popular belief that it must hurt like hell to tear your ACL. Not so, in The Common Man's experience. He has torn two ACLs now, and it has not hurt either time. The Common Man has felt a pop in his knee, akin to a rubber band breaking, as though something were breaking through a resistant force, but no pain. He's not sure why the football players cry and clutch and act as if they've been shot in the knee when these injuries happen. The best The Common Man can figure is either that they have had traumas significantly more damaging to their joints than he has, or that football players are big babies.

The injury itself just aches from time to time, but what really hurts is the recovery after the surgery, as The Common Man will have to learn to bend his knee all over again.

2) You can't walk on it. Not true. Walking is perfectly possible, with or without a brace on. That said, there is tremendous instability in the knee, meaning that walking without the brace is a bad idea, and should be severely limited. The Common Man can put weight on the knee and can do most of the normal activities he does in a day, including picking up and carrying The Boy. Cutting, however, is near impossible, and hyper-extension is painful as well. It is also very easy to damage the knee further, if one is not careful.

What is particularly interesting to The Common Man through this, is just how hyper-aware he has become about where he's stepping, what he's stepping on, and how he is stepping. He knows that there are regular strides, a long strides, and short strides, and strides up and down stairs, and lunges, and he knows what will hurt the knee further. The Common Man does not like to wear socks without shoes anymore, since they mask the surface on which he is walking, and are more slippery.

3) Recovery will take six months or more. Believe it or not, The Common Man is not a world-class athlete. While it may be true that an NFL cornerback or a NBA center may need a full season to recover from one of these injuries, to the point where they are 100%, The Common Man is looking at 3-4 months of rehab. The first month is the hardest, as there is significant swelling and overall grossness and The Common Man must start bending his knee again, and flexing his quad muscle. During the next two months, The Common Man will put more and more weight on the knee until he can function normally. He will still, for a while, need to be aware about how and where he is stepping, but he will be ok in time to mow the lawn in the spring.


So, although this is a tragedy, and you should all weep for The Common Man, he will be just fine, and looks forward to fighting off the pain (and the vicodin) to blog more about his recovery.