Incoherence at 5:00 AM

It is very early and The Common Man has a long day ahead of him. Instead of a longer post, you get several short observations that are consistent with the scattered nature of The Common Man's brain at 5:00 in the morning.

Yesterday, after taking care of The Boy during an afternoon of clinginess, The Common Man was shown three videos on the YouTube by his Uncommon Wife. Let's call them Exhibit A, Exhibit B, and Exhibit C. She was amused by the first two and disturbed by the third. The Common Man finds them all relatively disturbing. It is amazing how some parents choose to scar their kids just for kicks, then decide it is a good idea to let the rest of the world see how they choose to scar their kids. Seriously, though I may talk about The Boy in this space, I don't really understand why anyone would put embarassing videos of their child online. It's exploitative and mean. And like those girls who go wild, their pictures will be around online forever. 20 years from now, what kind of complexes will the Sparkling Wiggles girl have? And how will the mentos boy ever learn to trust again? It is befuddling sometimes that The Common Man needs to purchase a liscense to fish but any idiot can have children. Anyway, the videos made The Common Man feel much better about his skills as a father.

The Common Man believes that the Kevin Durant of the Texas, which he blogged about last week, was a myth along the lines of bigfoot, unicorns, and sober Irishmen (happy belated St. Patty's Day). The Common Man watched roughly 3/4 of the NCAA tournament over the weekend, always trying to have it on in the background. Yet, he caught nary a glimpse of the elusive creature, as CBS decided that The Common Man didn't need to see the most exciting player in college hoops. The Kevin Durant, if he does in fact exist, was eliminated yesterday by USC. For now, blurry photos is all The Common Man has as proof of his existence, until the Durant joins the NBA and puts up 20 and 12 every night. In related news, The Common Man's bracket is shot to hell.

There is a series of comercials out right now for a cell phone where people in random places (in line at a coffee shop, at the gym, at dog park) accost the viewer (in first person camera mode) and make him listen to music on their phone. Since The Common Man doesn't remember what what company makes the phone (vcast?), he thinks it likely that this ad campaign is not terribly effective. Particularly because the individuals hawking the phones seem to be such d-bags. I mean, seriously, who leaves their spotter so that he can make you listen to Fall Out Boy? You're going to let your dog run wild while you make me listen to Justin Timberlake while you dance in front of me to music that you can't hear? These are reliable judges on what a good cell phone is (let alone good music)? Somebody's ad company deserves a firing.

Finally, The Common Man found this old clip on Friday and loved it. Oh, University of South Carolina! You provide such fodder for our amusement! From drunken, sexist, racist frat guys in a Winnebago (seriously, see Borat), to this guy, to The Simpsons ("I will not be a Gamecock!"), you have tickled this Common Man's funny bone in the way that no other college has before or since.

And God looked out over what He had created and said...

"What a waste, they're just going to fuck it up."

The Common Man admits to finding Al Gore's documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, compelling. Gore presents a frightening case for what will become of this world as the polar ice melts rapidly and the temperature rises. Since his Oscar win, right-leaning blowhards with talk shows have essentially given up trying to discredit Gore's message and instead focused on attacking the (admittedly not ideal) messenger, digging through Gore's electric bill and flight history to attempt to discredit him as a hypocrit. Whatever. Gore's movie is essentially a personal narrative that synthesizes the work of others into an accessible and convenient form.

Anyway, one of the most interesting aspects of the film is the idea that environmentalism and combatting global warming is a moral issue. That unduly hurting God's creation and drastically altering the planet that the next generation will inherit is wrong, perhaps even sinful. The Common Man, in particular, thinks that this is an excellent point and that the scope of Christian morality needs to be extended beyond issues of life, reproduction, and family. Morality is not checked at the door when you leave your home.

Not everyone agrees with The Common Man. In fact, according to CNN, there is trouble brewing in the "evangelical community" (whatever that truly means) over whether global warming and environmentalism are important points to raise in lobbying efforts. Recently, a letter signed by 25 prominent evangelicals, including James Dobson and Gary Bauer, was sent to the National Association of Evangelicals (an organization of 45,000 churches of various Protestant denominations), asking it to rein in its Washington policy director, Rev. Richard Cizik, who has apparently been pushing hard for anti-warming agenda.

The letter observes "that Cizik and others are using the global warming controversy to shift the emphasis away from the great moral issues of our time, notably the sanctity of human life, the integrity of marriage and the teaching of sexual abstinence and morality to our children," and claims that evidence of global warming is not conclusive. Moreover, it suggests (quite ironically, given the "intelligent design" debate) that churches should let scientists settle the question. Finally, one of the signatories, Tony Perkins of The Family Research Council, has said that "global warming was part of a leftist agenda that threatened evangelical unity."

"We're not going to allow third parties to divide evangelicals, and I think that is what is happening in part with the global warming issue," Perkins said.

Of course, there are a lot of ridiculous statements here. First and foremost, that global warming is not real, or that evidence is not conclusive. Look, there are people who still believe that the Earth is flat and that the moon landing was faked. But it's still established science that the earth is round and that the moon is not made of cheese (and that golf balls travel really, really far out there). The overwhelming majority of scientific evidence suggests that global warming is real and that it is (at least partially) driven by man. Second, that somehow science and religion need to occupy separate spheres. While I'm sure Galileo is happy to hear about this, it ignores the fact that religious people can read good science and be convinced and that scientists can be religious (and can use that religion to inform their science).

Third and fourth, that broadening the focus of the "evangelical community"'s political influence will make it less effective and will "divide evangelicals." The Common Man believes that the narrow focus of this certain cadre of evangelical leaders will ultimately make them obsolete as Americans begin to see connections between various issues in the world today and their faith. Poverty, torture, nuclear proliferation, pollution. These are all moral issues that The Common Man believes must be addressed as such. Indeed, chuches and organizations of churches would be wise to broaden the issues that they address in order to be more effective influencing policy in a Democratically controled Congress. Who knows? Gaining traction on one issue may lead to the access and influence necessary to move forward on others. If Christianity's mission truly is to persuade others that Christ was our savior and to spread his message, it would do well to avoid insularity and to branch out, avoiding an "us vs. them" mentality and looking for ways to connect with others. This is an ideal way to do that (although The Common Man is not sure how comfortable he is with Tony Perkins, James Dobson, and Gary Bauer haveing more influence. In retrospect, forget that The Common Man has written anything in this space.).

Dancing, Dancing, Dancing

First of all, The Common Man has to point you, gentle reader, in another direction, to the blog of the Uncommon Wife, for an excellent post about life as a graduate student. Second, he'd like to point out that he has ammended his essential links to include good friends of the blog, Lt. Rob and Markandsarah. For friends who want to keep up with their exploits, there you go.

Like most right=thinking Americans, The Common Man looks forward to the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament every year. It is an athletic oasis in a late-winter desert of no sports, where he can drink his fill before continuing to plod on toward Opening Day (which really should be a national holiday). The tourney begins tomorrow, and while The Common Man is unsure how much of it he'll get to watch, he'd like to share his insight with you. Here are The Common Man's Final Four (keeping in mind that The Common Man does not watch nearly enough college hoops to be considered an expert):

1) Florida: This is an incredibly deep team and the returning champs from last year. They did not graduate anyone significant from that year's team, so they are experienced and play well together. This is Joakim Noah (who looks a lot like a woman with that long poofy hair and plucked eyebrows)'s last chance to make an impression on NBA scouts before he goes pro. Aside from overconfidence and Noah looking like a tall Sanjaya (gotta start watching American Idol, people), there's nothing not to like here.



2) Kansas: Another really deep team. Kansas is the most versatile team in the tourney, able to win a defensive battle or running game. They can shoot from the outside or pound it inside. Aside from the fact that they're Kansas and Kansas always seems to shoot itself in the foot, there's nothing not to like here.







3) Ohio State: Wow, three number one seeds in the Final Four. How original, The Common Man! How bold! Well, these three just are head and shoulders above the rest of the teams in Division I. Ohio State's Greg Odin (who, seriously, looks 45 years old but is only a freshman) is one of the top two players in the country and has dominated this year despite breaking his hand at the start of the season. Aside from the fact that they're Ohio State, and The Common Man (as a PSU guy) despises all things OSU, there's nothing not to like here.

4) Texas: The Common Man makes this pick based on how freakishly good Kevin Durant is (the other player who is in the top two in the country). This is the point where Durant puts his team on his back (a la Kirby Puckett in 1991) and drags them and their befuddled coach almost to the top of the mountain before he runs out of oxygen and is left to die in the snow next to George Mallory (look it up). Sure, they're going to have to go up against UNC in the Sweet 16, but Durant will neutralize UNC's big men. Georgetown in the Elite Eight will be a very tough game. Aside from Texas coach Rick Barnes coaching like he has a blindfold on and has replaced his clipboard with a oujia board and is clasped tightly to Durant's ankle as he runs up and down the floor, desperate to do anything to hold him back, there's nothing not to like here.

In the final game, The Common Man has Kansas vs. Texas (probably a bad choice to beat OSU, but The Common Man will ride the hot hand), with Kansas winning it all.

A Place of Their Own

One of the most interesting and useful developments that the internet has brought The Common Man in recent years is wikipedia, the on-line, community authored and regulated encyclopedia that is, apparently, just as reliable (and far more topical) than the vaunted Encyclopedia Britannnica. Now, wikipedia has its faults and no one should consider using it for, say, a graduate level research paper. But to do quick, dirty, and informal research, it's hard to imagine a more convenient source. Want to know more about the wackiness of Scientology and L. Ron Hubbard? Wikipedia's got you covered. Want to explore Kevin Federline's exploits as a professional wrestler? It's got that too. Burning to read more about Edward Said, Orientalism, and the West's romanticized portrayals of Asia and the Middle East? You're in luck. I mention all of this because wikipedia has a new competitor.

Now, the Common Man makes no secret of his own liberal bias. He does not wish to go into the intricasies of his beliefs here, but he feels the need to get this fact out of the way before he begins. For, you see, there are those in this world who would claim to be unbiased, to present their views before you as the literal, God's honest truth. In the spirit of these people, The Common Man presents The Conservapedia.

Claiming that Wikipedia was "6 times more liberal than the American public" (note: They base this claim on the rather spurious reasoning that "Polls show that about twice as many Americans identify themselves as 'conservative' compared with 'liberal', and that ratio has been increasing for two decades. But on Wikipedia, about three times as many editors identify themselves as 'liberal' compared with 'conservative'." Apparently somebody took 3rd grade math but skipped logic classes), the founders of Conservapedia have written off the Wiki as a lost cause and started their own site. And good for them. After all, they have every right to start their own site. But let's not pretend that theirs is some great storehouse of truth that is denied by the crazy liberals at Wikipedia, particularly as it "gives full credit to Christianity and America" and "concise, clean answers free of 'political correctness.'"

These concise and clean answers involve its entry on Fox News, which sarcasically notes that "The network has come under attacks from all sides of the political spectrum since its inception, largely for its uncritical and blatantly partisan support for the Bush administration and for the fact that it has consistantly failed to hand over Bill o'Reily to the Hague like all the other Fascists." Also, the site defends Ann Coulter as "a bestselling author of books that present conservative views in a direct and forceful manner" and is popular for for what many believe is her patriotic stances against liberals, her outspokenness against all those who wish to hurt America, and her strong defense of family values against abortion and same-sex marriage." It backs her up when she claims that her now infamous John Edwards comment "isn't offensive to gays. It has nothing to do with gays. It's a schoolyard taunt, meaning wuss," saying, "This explanation is consistent with the use of the term in American and British schools in the 20th century, and is supported by its etymology as a term applying to someone who does duties for others more senior. Edwards, whose public service consists of merely one term in the U.S. Senate, fits that meaning." Finally, the site reduces the career of Hillary Clinton, one of the most important and polarizing women of our era into health care failures, travelgate, Vince Foster, and running for President as a mom. Her legislative career? "No major legislation has been credited to Hillary Clinton."

Will Conservapedia make it in the long term? The Common Man doesn't know. He hopes not, but acknowledges that it's important for everyone to have a place to vent. After all, The Common Man has his blog in which a rather poorly written entry can get published about something that annoys him but may ultimately be of no consequence.

Gotta Keep the Devil

The Common Man is back from an extended absence that could not be helped. He is back with a vengeance (blog free or blog hard).

Anyway, there is only so much room in The Common Man's week to watch television. Usually, The Common Man gets to watch one or two shows a day. Since Heroes has already claimed Monday nights, The Common Man was forced to Tivo and watch the new NBC show The Black Donnellys on tape delay. And he is glad that he did. The show follows four Irish brothers who often find themselves dodging the local mob and police while they hustle. It's good TV. The narrative structure is off-beat, the plots are suspenseful, and the producers have done a good job of fleshing out what could have been very two-dimensional characters. If you have time in your viewing schedule, it's worth it (though its subject matter through the first two episodes has been violent and (at one point) a little disturbing).

That said, the title of the show is a reference to the Donnelly brothers being "black" Irish, that somehow their blood makes them dangerous and malevolent. One character argues that, because of their blood, everything they touch will turn bad, no matter how good their intentions are. Despite this, the four brothers are the noble heroes of the show, and are lauded for putting family above petty things like morality and intelligence.

The Common Man is not surprised by this characterization; after all, for The Common Man to want to continue watching he must care about what happens to the characters. Yet, there always seems to be a double standard when gang and criminal lives are portrayed on screen. The Donnellys are celebrated for their descent into the New York City underworld. Meanwhile, almost any show about criminal activity that starred African-American "black" Donnellys would undoubtedly portray its characters very differently (though, let's be honest, no network has the balls to produce that show). African-American criminal activity would be a blight upon the city and a menace to its people. The characters would become caricatures, stereotypes of gangbangers and degenerates. Because no one seems to have the creative fortitude to tackle the issues of why African-Americans become criminals. Why they join gangs. To talk about the poverty and desperation that many of these young men and women come from would partially mitigate their choices, and our society could not condemn them with such vigor without also doing something to change the conditions that cause them.

Only one show does this: HBO's original series The Wire, a police drama that spends almost as much time being a crime drama. The crumbling neighborhoods of West Baltimore constantly remind viewers of the context in which these boys and girls choose their paths. And, while it does not excuse their behavior, the show humanizes them, making its characters into more than black skin with a gun and an attitude. It is, bar none, the best show on television today because of its deep character development, strong acting, excellent location scouting, and unflinching commitment to exposing seediness and the roots of that seediness. If you have not seen it, I recommend renting or buying the DVDs today. And if you can't, then watch The Black Donnellys and pine for what might have been.

Note: neither of these shows should, at any time, be watched by children. If you have children, The Common Man recommends locking them in the basement while you watch these shows. If you're watching The Wire on DVD, this could take up to three hours. And while The Common Man would be sorry for your kids, it would be time well spent. Kids heal.

Fine White Powder...and Snow

Snow is falling steadily outside of The Common Man's window, silently dropping to the frozen ground. Everywhere he looks is covered with a thin layerof fine white powder. This pleases The Common Man.

The Common Man believes, you see, that weather should constantly be at its most logical extremes. Summer days should be warm and clear. If a day is not warm and clear, The Common Man should get to enjoy at least one thunderstorm for his trouble. For thunder does calm The Common Man, sometimes putting him to sleep, and always makes Ralph the Evil Dog cower in a way that is amusing. Likewise, in the winter, The Common Man demands that every day be either a) unusually warm, b) cold and crisp (with requisite blue sky), or snowing. Weather must make up its damn mind about what it is going to do so that The Common Man can plan out his day accordingly. This winter has been ideal for The Common Man, as it has either been unseasonably warm (until January) or snowing heavily (practically every day since). (Of course, as our globe warms, The Common Man can enjoy many unseasonably warm days as he swims to Colorado.)

Today also pleases The Common Man because his meetings at the local high school have been cancelled (as, apparently, has school). While The Common Man has no real desire to look a gift 5 extra hours in the mouth, he does feel the need to point out that the powers that be in Maine and Minnesota (where he lived prior to settling in Bellefonte, PA) would never allow 1-3 inches of snow to shut them down. The plows would be out working overtime, getting boys and girls to school and men and women to work. Time, after all, is money. Perhaps Minnesotans and Mainiacs are simply heartier than Pennsylvanians. Perhaps they are better and more careful drivers in the snow. Or maybe Centre County needs to buy some more snow plows and develop a better plan for using them. But The Common Man doesn't think there's a valid excuse for letting 1-3 inches of snow keep you away from school or work (unless a) you slide off the road and are upside-down in a ditch somewhere or b) you are using the snow as an excuse to skip a class that you really wanted to skip anyway). Cowboy up, Pennsylvania!

Queen of the Harpies

The Common Man was all set to blog about how successful this weekend was. The Boy was successfully dunked for Christ. The service was at the same time informal but drenched with meaning and austerity. The exclusive afterparty was a rousing success with friends and family eating, drinking, and making merry into the night. The clean-up was relatively quick considering there were twenty-five people milling about the house. The Common Family has generally been a big help and has been terrific company for The Boy. And The Common Man ended up drinking a bunch of wine and not getting a headache (it's like he was back in college).

Then, however, Ann Coulter (Queen of the Harpies that she is) said this. Go ahead, look. It's only 34 seconds long (although many of you will have seen it by now). First and foremost, I feel the need to point out that Ann Coulter is not funny. And it's not just this joke. It seems that every joke she tells involves dropping some racial, ethnic, or sexual slur out there and getting her supporters to laugh (either uproariously or uncomfortably) along with her). She should stop trying to be funny. It is painful to watch. Pauley Shore is weeping right now.

Second, let's give it up for those people at the Conservative Political Action Conference who clapped, cheered and whistled for her. The Common Man appreciates how difficult it was for these poor, maligned conservatives (who, until a few short months ago, only had the majority of governorships, the majority of state legislatures, two houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the President and all the President's (mostly) men, the vast majority of talk radio shows, and a national news network on which Ms. Coulter has appeared regularly, to represent their interests) to annonymously speak up in a crowd of similarly minded people and voice their approval with a position taken by another person. Not all of us have the kind of courage necessary to voice our opinion annonymously; indeed, many of us are forced to "out" ourselves and our opinions, coming out of the closet with them, as it were. These brave souls have found a way to escape public criticism and to be bigotted. So, way to go guys! In a world that treats conservatives so shabbily, The Common Man is pleased that you have found the strength to treat others shabbily right back.

As for Coulter, The Common Man finds her flippant, off-handed, snearing, smeering, and mean style repugnant. The Common Man knows nothing about her personally, except that her books such as Godless: The Church of Liberalism (actually, that would be the United Church of Christ, Ann), How to Speak to a Liberal (If you must) (frankly, there are enough people who consider themselves liberal that you should have to talk to at least one a week; it's not like, say, African-Americans, who most white Americans can literally go days without talking to), Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism (no comment, letting the silence speak for itself) have been wildly popular and best-sellers. A large segment of the American population has made her very rich. Certainly, no one (except perhaps Ann herself) could claim that Ann Coulter has been disadvantaged or persecuted by anyone. She, by all accounts, has a pretty good life. All of which makes her celebratory meanness all the more offensive. The Common Man is sad that this person still carries enough political weight to a) speak in front of a group of leading conservatives, b) share the dais with Vice-President Burgess Meredith, Tom "the flacid hammer" Delay, Newt Gingrich, and Presidential hopefuls Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, and Mitt Romney, and c) has actually held The Common Man's attention for three paragraphs.

Anyway, here's paragraph 4, and then The Common Man vows to speak of this incident no more. Coulter finshed her time at the CPAC by taking questions and said, "I don't know why all gays aren't Republican. I think we have the pro-gay positions, which is anti-crime and for tax cuts. Gays make a lot of money and they're victims of crime. No, they are! They should be with us." She said this, of course, without a hint of irony, particularly since she had just disparaged both gayness and (presumably) John Edwards. The only possible reason, in light of her well-reasoned argument, that "gays" are not, for the most part, Republicans, Ms. Coulter, is probably that you are. Finally, if you think that Ann Coulter is repugnant (as The Common Man does), The Common Man urges you to go to The Human Rights Campaign and either make a donation or further educate yourself. The Common Man plans on doing one or the other after looking at his checkbook.

Thank you Jevus!

The Common Man apologizes (not that The Common Man need ever apologize for anything) for the light blogging around here this week. As a special bonus, you can have an extra entry this weekend so that The Common Man can bring his total up to four for the week. It has been pretty busy in The Household this week, as The Uncommon Wife came up with bronchitis and The Boy got an ear infection. There has been a lot of work to do for school and, perhaps most importantly, The Common Family (which did spawn The Common Man, for he did not materialize out of the ether, you know) has come to visit for the weekend.

You don't care about excuses, of course. You just want a piece of The Common Man. Everyone wants a piece of The Common Man. While sometimes this demand grows tiresome, The Common Man understands how it can be so; he is, after all, pretty awesome. But since this is his blog, not yours, to get your The Common Man fix (you junkie, you), you will have to endure him talking about what's going on in his life at the moment.

Tomorrow, you see, The Boy will be dunked for Christ. This is a joyous occasion, for The Common Man loves the Lord (and the Lord loves The Common Man) and has been disappointed that The Boy has gone so long without the dunking (though not as disappointed as The Uncommon Wife). So, The Common Man's family, in-laws, and out-laws will be descending on him to celebrate immersing The Boy in water. Unlike the last mass family gathering (the nuptuals between The Common Man and The Uncommon Wife), there will be no dancing, no nervousness, and absolutely no drinking scotch from a vase. There has, however, been a great deal of practicing for the big day, as The Boy has been taking a lot of showers recently, practicing getting his face wet. He should be fine. At three months old, it's time for him to grow up a little. As Don Vito Corleone said to Johnny Fontane, "You can be a man!"

Next week, he's going to practice stifling his emotions and keeping a stiff upper lip.