Queen of the Harpies

The Common Man was all set to blog about how successful this weekend was. The Boy was successfully dunked for Christ. The service was at the same time informal but drenched with meaning and austerity. The exclusive afterparty was a rousing success with friends and family eating, drinking, and making merry into the night. The clean-up was relatively quick considering there were twenty-five people milling about the house. The Common Family has generally been a big help and has been terrific company for The Boy. And The Common Man ended up drinking a bunch of wine and not getting a headache (it's like he was back in college).

Then, however, Ann Coulter (Queen of the Harpies that she is) said this. Go ahead, look. It's only 34 seconds long (although many of you will have seen it by now). First and foremost, I feel the need to point out that Ann Coulter is not funny. And it's not just this joke. It seems that every joke she tells involves dropping some racial, ethnic, or sexual slur out there and getting her supporters to laugh (either uproariously or uncomfortably) along with her). She should stop trying to be funny. It is painful to watch. Pauley Shore is weeping right now.

Second, let's give it up for those people at the Conservative Political Action Conference who clapped, cheered and whistled for her. The Common Man appreciates how difficult it was for these poor, maligned conservatives (who, until a few short months ago, only had the majority of governorships, the majority of state legislatures, two houses of Congress, the Supreme Court, the President and all the President's (mostly) men, the vast majority of talk radio shows, and a national news network on which Ms. Coulter has appeared regularly, to represent their interests) to annonymously speak up in a crowd of similarly minded people and voice their approval with a position taken by another person. Not all of us have the kind of courage necessary to voice our opinion annonymously; indeed, many of us are forced to "out" ourselves and our opinions, coming out of the closet with them, as it were. These brave souls have found a way to escape public criticism and to be bigotted. So, way to go guys! In a world that treats conservatives so shabbily, The Common Man is pleased that you have found the strength to treat others shabbily right back.

As for Coulter, The Common Man finds her flippant, off-handed, snearing, smeering, and mean style repugnant. The Common Man knows nothing about her personally, except that her books such as Godless: The Church of Liberalism (actually, that would be the United Church of Christ, Ann), How to Speak to a Liberal (If you must) (frankly, there are enough people who consider themselves liberal that you should have to talk to at least one a week; it's not like, say, African-Americans, who most white Americans can literally go days without talking to), Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism (no comment, letting the silence speak for itself) have been wildly popular and best-sellers. A large segment of the American population has made her very rich. Certainly, no one (except perhaps Ann herself) could claim that Ann Coulter has been disadvantaged or persecuted by anyone. She, by all accounts, has a pretty good life. All of which makes her celebratory meanness all the more offensive. The Common Man is sad that this person still carries enough political weight to a) speak in front of a group of leading conservatives, b) share the dais with Vice-President Burgess Meredith, Tom "the flacid hammer" Delay, Newt Gingrich, and Presidential hopefuls Rudy Giuliani, Mike Huckabee, and Mitt Romney, and c) has actually held The Common Man's attention for three paragraphs.

Anyway, here's paragraph 4, and then The Common Man vows to speak of this incident no more. Coulter finshed her time at the CPAC by taking questions and said, "I don't know why all gays aren't Republican. I think we have the pro-gay positions, which is anti-crime and for tax cuts. Gays make a lot of money and they're victims of crime. No, they are! They should be with us." She said this, of course, without a hint of irony, particularly since she had just disparaged both gayness and (presumably) John Edwards. The only possible reason, in light of her well-reasoned argument, that "gays" are not, for the most part, Republicans, Ms. Coulter, is probably that you are. Finally, if you think that Ann Coulter is repugnant (as The Common Man does), The Common Man urges you to go to The Human Rights Campaign and either make a donation or further educate yourself. The Common Man plans on doing one or the other after looking at his checkbook.

Thank you Jevus!

The Common Man apologizes (not that The Common Man need ever apologize for anything) for the light blogging around here this week. As a special bonus, you can have an extra entry this weekend so that The Common Man can bring his total up to four for the week. It has been pretty busy in The Household this week, as The Uncommon Wife came up with bronchitis and The Boy got an ear infection. There has been a lot of work to do for school and, perhaps most importantly, The Common Family (which did spawn The Common Man, for he did not materialize out of the ether, you know) has come to visit for the weekend.

You don't care about excuses, of course. You just want a piece of The Common Man. Everyone wants a piece of The Common Man. While sometimes this demand grows tiresome, The Common Man understands how it can be so; he is, after all, pretty awesome. But since this is his blog, not yours, to get your The Common Man fix (you junkie, you), you will have to endure him talking about what's going on in his life at the moment.

Tomorrow, you see, The Boy will be dunked for Christ. This is a joyous occasion, for The Common Man loves the Lord (and the Lord loves The Common Man) and has been disappointed that The Boy has gone so long without the dunking (though not as disappointed as The Uncommon Wife). So, The Common Man's family, in-laws, and out-laws will be descending on him to celebrate immersing The Boy in water. Unlike the last mass family gathering (the nuptuals between The Common Man and The Uncommon Wife), there will be no dancing, no nervousness, and absolutely no drinking scotch from a vase. There has, however, been a great deal of practicing for the big day, as The Boy has been taking a lot of showers recently, practicing getting his face wet. He should be fine. At three months old, it's time for him to grow up a little. As Don Vito Corleone said to Johnny Fontane, "You can be a man!"

Next week, he's going to practice stifling his emotions and keeping a stiff upper lip.