There are certain, perhaps unanswerable, questions that leave The Common Man scratching his head. Last night, as he and The Uncommon Wife sat in bed watching The Daily Show, one of those questions came up. He hopes that you can help him answer it.
A commercial for the National Geographic Channel came on and intermittently showed film of a lion and a shark. This prompted The Common Man to ask the perfectly natural question, "If a lion and a shark had a fight, who would win?"
Of course, the answer is largely dependent on where the fight takes place. On land, the lion has the distinct advantage because he can move about more easily and can breath. Ditto for the shark in the water. To make sure that no advantage is given, The Common Man has decreed that it must take place in outer space.
The Common Man thinks it is important that a wussy shark is not chosen for this competition. So, no whale sharks and no, um, fuzzy...sharks. The Common Man also decrees that the shark must be a Great White Shark.
Finally, The Common Man wants to make sure that the fight is as aesthetically pleasing as possible. Male lions just look cooler than female lions. It's just true. The Common Man will brook no argument here. Therefore, only a male lion is allowed to participate.
So, loyal readers (of whom there are so few, and after rereading this post, I can see why), if a lion and a shark fought in outer space, who would win and why?
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4 comments:
A Common Reader thinks the outer space battle between a lion (good call on male lion aesthetics, but aren't the females the ones who do most of the hunting, and therefore presumably have more prowess at battle?) and a Great White Shark (also a good call) would end in a draw. Due to the vacuum of space, neither would be able to get traction to move, so they would never come in close enough contact to strike. You would have to equip them with jet packs. In that case, I give the advantage to the lion, because he has hands with which to manipulate said jet pack -- the shark would probably just flail about with his fins.
I propose a change of venue: inside a volcano.
Well, jetpacks do make anything cooler. See Moonraker if you don't think so. Wait...bad example.
Anyway, The Common Man never considered the inside of a volcano. It is cool, but has the distinct disadvantage of not being outer space, which is a cool concept in and of itself. Also, how would The Common Man watch said fight in order to determine a winner? Cameras can go into outer space. They would melt inside a volcano. Good suggestion though.
The lion would win, paws down. In any locale. The shark has limited mobility compared to the agile lion, and can only bite. (Then again, it does have its tough skin to protect it. Hmmm.)
Yeah. The lion.
I'm putting my money on the shark. You see, the lion has that giant mane which, although it isamazingly cool looking, represents the lion's Achilles' Heel. The shark could bite onto the mane and, with one good fling, propel the lion into the sun.
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