Words That Are Weighty With Nothing But Trouble

The Common Man does not want this space to become a space for him to obsess about sports, though that is what The Common Man usually does (particularly about his Minnesota Twins). Perhaps he will write another blog in which he can do that. For now he would like to reserve this space for topics that are more universally interesting. That said, today The Common Man just cannot help himself. Today The Common Man is excited. For today, you see, he has heard the four little words that seem to make every February (a virtual dead time in the sporting world) worth enduring: Pitchers and Catchers report.

Indeed, today, in Florida and Arizona, fresh-faced rookies and obscenely wealthy veterans are getting out of their Humvees and their Corvettes and their mom's old Chevy Cavalier, are unpacking their bags full of Under Armour T-shirts, baseball caps, and jock straps, and are beginning to loosen up their arms. That's right, baseball is back.

Now, one could argue that pitchers and catchers began reporting yesterday, which is true. Or that The Common Man's beloved Twins don't report for another 2 days, 23 hours, 43 minutes, and 20, 19, 18 seconds. That is also true. But today is the first day that The Common Man really realized what was going on (he's been in a snowed-in mental fog) and got excited.

It's hard for The Common Man to be rational about baseball, for it is his first true love. He found it one summer in 1987 as the underdog Minnesota Twins backed into the playoffs and ended up as the World Champions (note: the world, in this case, refers only to the United States and Canada). And every spring, it rides back into his life, reclaims its place in his heart, and makes him giggly as a little school girl until late October, when it cruelly leaves him for four long months.

But now it is back! And, oh! The fun they shall have together, long into the warm summer nights. He shall be captivated by its beauty for hours on end, and shall treasure every moment. He shall look into baseball's eyes and profess his undying devotion. Unless, that is, freaking Ron Gardenhire gives the 5th starter's spot in the rotation to Sidney Ponson or Ramon Ortiz! Then it's over. This time, it's really over.